Milk, Pweeze!!!!

2011/09/04

Max the Milkman

My youngest son, Maxwell, is still nursing at 23 months old.  There was a time when I would have been appalled by this (with ds #1), because I believed what most people I encounter believe- that nursing should stop by the time a baby is about 6 months old, and definitely not past a year (and that’s pushing it!)  14 years ago, I hadn’t done any research on the benefits for mother or baby, and I was very easily influenced by my family’s beliefs (even though most of them didn’t nurse at all).  That’s probably why it seemed so foreign to them in the first place.

My youngest daughter nursed until she was 14 months old- I think she stopped because I got pregnant with her brother and my milk was just different.  I didn’t encourage her to wean, she just did.  I would have been happy to nurse her for another few months.  At this point I knew more, but not as much as I do now.

Maxie is happily nursing and showing no signs of stopping.  He speaks more clearly than most two year olds I have met and has been for almost 6 months now, so he’s been actually asking for milk for awhile.  He speaks in full sentences, answers questions, holds conversations, and will ask why and answer you with because… and give you an explanation.  And, not only will he ask for milk, he’s specify which boob he wants it from, lol.  To most people, even without considering his size (30lbs), the fact that he can say all that means he’s too old to still be nursing.

I have come to disagree.  Before I was strong enough to admit this however, I went through various stages of “faking it”.  First, I would pretend as though I was unhappy with the situation (Ugh, he’s always nursing!  I never get a break!) Then, I would act as shocked as they did (I know! I can’t believe it either!  He just refuses to stop!)  After that, I would make light of it and immediately change the subject (Yes, he’s still nursing, but I’m pretty sure he’ll be done before he starts college.  So, how about those Ravens?!).  That one actually isn’t a bad response at all, only now I’m at a point where I really don’t care what people think and wish they would keep their counsel.

Honestly, despite what problems other people might have (he’s too big/ too old/ it’s just not right, etc.)- I’ve come to realize that it’s THEIR problem, not mine or his.  WE are fine and happy.  It’s still what’s best for him, still beneficial healthwise for me, too, and we’re both happy.  If it’s an inconvenience, it’s MINE.  If it’s too much work, it’s MY WORK.  If it takes too much time, it’s MY TIME.  If he becomes too clingy (research proves otherwise) then he’ll cling to ME.  If he won’t sleep at night, he’s keeping ME up.  So the only person affected is me- so if I’m fine with it, people should keep their comments to themselves.

Actually, I wouldn’t mind questions, concerns, or comments from people if they actually knew anything at all about breastfeeding.  But have you noticed that the people who have never nursed, or nursed for like a month and quit, have the most to say?  People who’ve never done it, never researched it, never been to a LLLI meeting, never read about it have so many reasons why you should stop.  That is so incongruent- it really irritates me.  At least know what you’re talking about if you’re going to launch a campaign against me.  And mind your own boobs’ business, not mine.

(I should add that I have many friends that bottle feed and support me wholeheartedly.  When it comes to feeding her baby, each woman has to choose what’s right for her, and it’s her right to do so.  I respect the right of women who choose differently from me, and I appreciate those women who support me even though our choices may not have been the same.  I’m not referring to those ladies, or ladies like them, in this post.)

Okay, rant over.

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2 Responses to “Milk, Pweeze!!!!”

  1. The Chick Says:

    Lol-you crack me up!

    As you know, I have exclusively nursed all of my kiddos, allowing them to self-wean-for various lengths of time (13 months, 17 months, 22 months and still nursing the 16 month old).

    I have heard all of the comments and worse, dealt with all of the stares and looks of shock, disbelief and amazement. Most of the time, it doesn’t phase me any more. Even the last time I had my son at the pediatrician-THE PEDIATRICIAN-the one whose own medical governing board recommends nursing for 2 years and beyond-asked me when I was going to stop.

    While at first I was offended by off-handed comments and angered by unsolicited advice, now I am more sad when I hear things like that. I am sad that my pediatrician doesn’t see or understand how beneficial it is to my son to nurse him as long as he wants. I am sad for women who, for whatever reason, can’t or don’t want to experience that with their own children, I am sad at cultural ignorance that places values on a woman’s breasts as a sex object only. Most of all, I am sad that what God intended for good and pleasure, has been distorted into something “unnatural” and “disgusting”.

    Unfortunately, there is very little I can do to change things so I have learned to be content living my life as God directs it and letting those comments and the ignorance roll off my shoulders. My babies are happy, healthy, intelligent, well-loved and well-cared for. What else matters? I am teaching my sons and daughter about living naturally and nourishing a baby as God designed both mother and baby to nurse. That’s where it has to start for me.

    You know I support you, even if very few do. Love you sister and look forward to reading more of your blog!

    • chanamiata Says:

      Thanks, Chick! Lol. I know I can count on you, and you know where I’m coming from on so many things of this nature. You’ll always have my support, too!

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